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Couples Counselling 101: 4 Ways to Be a Better Partner
Kathleen Maiman • Nov 14, 2019
Many people seek couples counselling
to try and understand how they can be a better partner. A relationship is more than just two people being together—it’s a commitment to being there for each other, working together through challenging times, and cherishing another person’s company.
But relationships can falter when that strong bond is neglected for one reason or another. Whether someone isn’t aware of how their actions are affecting their partner or a poor work-life balance is straining the relationship, it’s important to take the time to understand different ways you can be a better partner.
1. Develop a Good Sleeping Schedule
Getting a good night’s sleep is one of the most important things we can do for ourselves. When we’re rested, we’re better able to handle the daily challenges we face in our relationship. Sleep affects more than just your energy levels too. It impacts your mental alertness, mood, hunger, and glucose levels.
Bad sleeping habits can make you more irritable, emotional, and unable to cope with even the most basic tasks.
Everyone’s sleeping schedule is different. What’s important is that you figure out the right amount of sleep for you to feel rested.
2. Listen to What Your Partner Has to Say
Sometimes your partner just wants to be heard. This is even truer in relationships where one partner feels the other doesn’t listen enough.
You don’t have to agree with what someone says, but the simple fact that you’re listening to them and letting them vent their frustrations is what matters.
Remember, we all have our own unique approach to life. What works for you may not work for someone else. Try taking an empathetic approach to your relationship. Accept that your partner is different, that their approach may not work for you, and acknowledge that those differences are okay.
Relationships are built on compromise and understanding.
3. Show Appreciation (No Matter How Small)
It’s easy to get caught in the motions of a relationship. Simple tasks quickly become part of our routine, and we lose focus on the fact that someone has to complete them.
Each partner in a relationship will usually assume certain roles and duties. Showing a little appreciation can show your partner that you value what they are doing.
Saying thank you for something as small as arranging the wet winter boots after a long day can go a long way and make your partner feel appreciated.
Showing gratitude is linked to positive partner perceptions and is something that more couples could benefit from.
4. Focus on Spending Quality Time Together
One of the biggest complaints I hear during couples counselling is that partners don’t spend quality time together.
One partner will suggest that they do, while the other will say that it wasn’t a meaningful experience. Many couples think any time spent together is good. But taking a quantity-based approach may not be the best choice.
If you are planning to spend time together, focus on making sure it’s a quality experience. Find an activity that you both enjoy—that way—it will feel rewarding for both partners.
It’s okay to take part in your partner’s hobbies, but like anything in life, participation should be balanced for both partners.
Looking for the Answers to Your Relationship? Couples Counselling Can Help
Love of Attraction was founded by Registered Psychotherapist and Certified Imago Relationship Therapist Kathleen Maiman
to help couples analyze their relationships on the path to self-discovery.
Are you interested in couples counselling or attending one of our couples retreats? Please contact us today at 403.809.8282
to learn more.
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