About Imago Therapy
Moving from conflict to connection
Imago Relationship Therapy
Imago Therapy is an integrated theory and process for working with couples, individuals , and parents who seek to enhance the relationships they share. Based on the ground-breaking work of Harville Hendrix Ph.D. and Helen LaKelly Hunt, Ph.D. co-authors of Getting the Love you Want, Keeping the Love you Find, Receiving Love and Giving the Love that Heals, Imago suggests that you attract an intimate partner that most resembles your caregivers. The unresolved childhood pain such as abandonment, rejection, smothering, shame and helplessness resurfaces in committed partnership, similar to the way we felt in childhood. This creates conflict.
Couples and individuals learn that “conflict is a signal that growth is trying to happen”. It is not that we have fallen out of love or chosen the wrong partner. The partner you have chosen is your Imago match, and is often the best person to help you heal because we look for someone with the same deficits of care and attention that hurt us in the first place. In Imago, relationship therapy, couples discover that partners have unmet childhood needs and make a commitment to use their relationship to finish the unfinished business. With conscious intention and new skills, couples will easily transition from the blissful romantic stage through the inevitable power struggle to real love. Imago therapy is also relevant for single individuals as we are all in many relational contexts.
A safe context is created in Imago Relationship Therapy for couples to explore their unresolved childhood pain, offering insight into the unconscious agenda we bring to relationships. Along with this information and application of the Imago processes, such as dialogue, couples restructure their frustrations and re-establish a connection, that promotes healing and growth. Through the mutual commitment of meeting the needs of one another, the relationship can reach its highest potential – a conscious, safe and passionate partnership.
The Oprah Winfrey Show: How to Make Love Last
Oprah’s SuperSoul Conversations
From January 8, 1993: Oprah interviews self-help author and Oprah Show regular guest Harville Hendrix, who teaches us how to make our relationships not only last longer, but become happier. He talks about overcoming trust issues, childhood wounds appearing in adulthood and how marriage is a structure for healing. He also works with several couples on making their love last and discusses his books Getting The Love You Want and Keeping The Love You Find. Oprah explains how Getting the Love You Want helped improve her relationship with Stedman Graham. Of Harville’s work, Oprah says, “I saw relationships not solely as the kind of romantic pursuit our society celebrates, but as a spiritual partnership that's meant to change how you see yourself and the world.” Harville is a New York Times best-selling author, international speaker and couples therapist with more than 40 years of experience as an educator, clinical trainer and lecturer who has appeared on The Oprah Winfrey Show 17 times.