Why Relationship Therapy is Growing Among Young Couples

If you and your partner get caught up in the same argument time and time again, it may be time to consider couple’s counselling. Something that used to be considered a last-ditch attempt at saving the relationship, couples counselling has grown in popularity—especially among millennials and Gen Zers—to enhance relationships and improve communication. 

Astudy by the American Psychiatric Association shows 37% of Gen Zers are seeking personal counselling, closely followed by 35% of millennials. As younger generations become more open to how they view various mental health issues, relationship counselling is being used as more of a maintenance step in relationships, rather than only being attended to in a crisis.

Read on to learn when you should seek relationship counselling. We’ll also go over how to make relationship therapy effective, whyImago relationship therapy may be the answer you’ve been looking for, and how to find a relationship therapist that’s right for you. 

When to Seek Relationship Counselling

Relationship counselling is a form of therapy that can help couples improve communication, resolve issues that interfere with being part of a healthy relationship, and reignite the spark that first drew you to your partner. But how do you know when to seek couples therapy? There are a few telltale signs:

• Communication is mostly negative, or communication style lead to arguments and confusion
• Lacking intimacy 
• Lies, being deceitful or keeping secrets 
• You see your partner as being antagonistic
• Infidelity
• You’re living the same argument time and time again
• You feel like your relationship is capable of “more” or something’s missing
• Indifference 

Most of these signs are self-explanatory, but indifference may need a little more exploration. Feeling indifferent toward your partner can come across in several ways:

• Having a general disinterest in your partner’s life
• Not caring when you don’t know where your partner is
• A struggling intimate life doesn’t bother you
• Making no effort to spend time together
• Not caring if your partner was or could be unfaithful
• Having no remorse, empathy, or respect for your partner’s feelings

While many of these signs may sound like the end of the relationship is near, this isn’t true if both parties feel like the relationship is worth saving. Speaking with a trusted relationship counsellor can help you overcome the negating factors affecting your relationship. 

How to Make Relationship Therapy Effective

The goal of relationship therapy is to increase your knowledge about yourself, your partner, and the interaction that goes on between you. Couples therapy becomes most effective when you incorporate new thoughts and ideas into the interactions between you and your partner that break old ineffective patterns and routines. 

When seeking therapy for relationship issues, both you and your partner need to be open to discussing a few important concepts for therapy to be effective:

• The ideal life you want to have together
• The type of partner you aspire to be to have the ideal life/relationship you want
• What’s stopping you from being the type of partner you aspire to be
• The knowledge and skills to do everything above

And there are some things you’re going to need for sustained improvement in your relationship:

• A concrete vision of the life you wish to build together
• The right skills and attitudes for working as a team
• Motivation
• Persistence
• Patience
• Time for reviewing your progress

Before each session, both you and your partner should individually take time to reflect on what your end objectives are and what it’s going to take to get you there. That might reflect on the kind of relationship you’re looking for, or the type of person you’re aiming to become so you can achieve your ideal relationship. 

Imago Relationship Therapy

Imago relationship therapy targets the connection between conflicts in adult relationships and early childhood experiences. Childhood feelings of neglect, abandonment, and/or suppression will often subconsciously show up in adult relationships. When these issues repeat themselves with a loving partner, past negative feelings often overshadow all the good things in the relationship. 

Imago relationship therapy can help couples understand and have empathy for their partner’s childhood wounds. This allows the “wounded” partner to heal and move their relationship to a more conscious level. 

Through tools and techniques that improve conflict resolution, couples who use Imago therapy are empowered by how their relationships transform into a respectful, peaceful, loving place full of communication on topics that really matter. The wounded partner sees their partner as a healer and teacher, rather than the enemy. They turn their conflicts into connection and learn how to give and receive love the way they want it, reigniting the passion that first brought them together. 

How to Find a Relationship Therapist

Choosing a good couples counsellor, either online or in-person, can be overwhelming. Here are a few tips to help you find someone you and your partner can truly connect with:

• When doing your research, look for therapists specially trained in couples therapy
• Get to know potential therapists before you commit. Ask questions about their education and training, their thoughts about divorce, what percentage of their work is done with couples, the percentage of couples who’ve seen results while working with them
• Have patience. When you find a counsellor you both connect with, stick it out. Healing doesn’t happen overnight
• Be honest. If you or your partner feel like something isn’t working during your sessions, be upfront and honest with your therapist so they can adjust how they approach your situation

Work With a Therapist Specially Trained in Couples Counselling 

Do any of the telltale signs of needing relationship counselling sound familiar to you? If you feel like your relationship is strained, don’t be afraid to ask for help.The Love of Attraction will work with you and your partner to voice your concerns, listen to one another’s feedback, and build a healthy problem-solving strategy that can strengthen your relationship—even if you’re not millennials or Gen Zers.

A healthy relationship is a goal for any age, and it all starts with learning how to improve communication skills, resolve issues, and reignite that spark. 

Learn more about our online relationship therapy and in-person couples counselling sessions in Calgary today.