Choosing a Couples Therapist That Is Right for Your Relationship

Romantic relationships without any issues often only exist in fairytales. Trying to find solutions to manage quarrels with your partner can be tough, but help is out there if you know where to look. 

Especially for couples dealing with cycles of miscommunication, seeking a marriage counsellor or couples therapist can be a necessary route in managing difficult situations and rebuilding a healthier relationship. 

Here are four tips on finding and choosing a competent and efficient couples therapist who can support you and your partner. 

Find Therapists with Specialized Training in Couples Therapy

Sometimes couples will go through multiple therapists with little to no changes in their relationship or no clarity as to how they can shift the tide of their romantic issues. Making sure the type of therapist you see is first, licensed for couples therapy and has specific training in this field so you know you are receiving the proper techniques, interventions and supervision that can have a positive effect on your relationship right from the get-go

It’s also important to seek out therapists who align with the way relationships work for you without you having to teach your therapist terminology. This specialization pertains to expertise in the specific type of relationship you and your partner identify with, which can involve diverse sexual and gender expressions/ identities, such as non-monogamy, kink/BDSM and so on. 

Get to Know Potential Therapists on the Initial Meeting or Interview 

After finding a few possible couple therapists to work with, taking some time to get to know these professionals can help you and your partner gauge their counselling styles, techniques, experience and relationship beliefs. This first interview process can help you decide if you are a good fit for each other.

It can be overwhelming picking who to work with after a meeting or two, so here are some questions you can ask to vet their compatibility:

1. What specific formal education and supervised training in couples therapy have you received? 
2. What percentage of couples you’ve worked with have seen improvement as a result of therapy with you?
3. What does a successful marriage look like to you? What change do you look for in couples during therapy who have romantic issues before seeking professional help? 
4. What does working with you look like? What does your plan of action or therapy session structure look like? 
5. Do you offer online relationship counselling, workshops, individual sessions or imago therapy? How flexible is your scheduling?

Couples may also participate in individual sessions with the therapist at the beginning to express any concerns in confidence or ask questions without the pressure that can arise when their partner is present. 

Sticking With Therapy Can Mean Longer Lasting Improvements

Unfortunately, fixing problems in romantic relationships doesn’t happen overnight. It can be tempting to drop out early, but research shows that couples who stick with therapy show the most improvements long-term. 

Experienced and skilled couples therapists know there is a difference between merely improving surface issues and making lasting developments by addressing deeply rooted problems. While it’s possible to see significant improvements within the first handful of sessions, considering committing to longer-term sessions can really demonstrate the lasting effectiveness of relationship therapy in dealing with surface and deep issues. 

Take Control of your Couples Therapy Journey

Don’t forget that this is your relationship and your therapy. Making sure you are honest with your therapist about what you’ve found helpful and clearing up any misunderstandings will considerably aid in your couples therapy experience and the value you get out of it. 

A good therapist will understand that therapy is never one-size-fits-all and can adjust how they work with you and your relationship if you communicate your concerns. Although sometimes this confrontation can be uncomfortable, being open to expressing your needs and boundaries are foundational steps to rebuilding a stronger bond with yourself, your partner and your relationships through couples counselling. 

Often, it will challenge you and your partner to break the rules you’ve created that get you stuck in the first place. But during the process, a professional therapist can help you build new bridges of connection that can create feelings of intimacy, being seen, and feeling cared for. 

Finding the Right Couples Therapist Is the First Step to Healthier Romantic Relationships

Seeking counselling doesn’t mean your relationship is doomed. Finding a couples therapist who will support your romantic relationship transformation can help to reignite a spark in your marriage, rebuild trust from sexual problems, and mediate difficult discussions between you and your partner. 

Choose Love of Attraction For Professional Couples Therapy

Whether it’s couples workshops or in-person sessions, relationship therapy can help couples transform their relationships into healthy, happy and respectful bonds where they can communicate and connect on a deeper level. 

At Love of Attraction, our certified couples therapist and clinician will work directly with clients in Calgary to help rebuild stronger foundations of their relationship and guide partners back to true connection and communication. Visit our website to find out about our broad range of couples therapy services today.