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What to do When You Get Stressed

Kathleen Maiman • June 25, 2024

Under stress, we move into doing and saying things that are often unskilled and immature. These behaviours can cause harm to another and erode relationships over time. It is not that we are uncaring in those times; rather, the stress responses mean we have reached an unhealthy capacity or emotional limit. 

When unresourced, the energy needed to “tame” our emotions to things that are upsetting and frustrating is low.When the fuel tank is low, it’s important to refuel in order to find the energy you need to keep going in a positive direction emotionally. Nobody likes to be on the receiving end of a blow up or someone losing their cool. For the person acting out, it can feel shameful and regretful and ultimately hurts our relationships.


Here are a few tips on what to do when you find yourself in a stressful place.


Breathe

When you find yourself in a stressful state, find a calm, quiet place for a few minutes and practice deep breathing. It will help you relax and does wonders for releasing stress tension. Take some nice long exhales, (twice as long as the inhales). This cools your brain and activates your parasympathetic nervous system for relaxation.


Take a Moment

Take a moment to notice the present moment. When we notice the present moment, we can begin to express gratitude for the relationships in your life and all that we have. Meditate or Pray. Become silent and meditate on the sounds around you, or your breath, or on a few things you are grateful for. Gratitude does wonders for the heart and brings forth the best feel good emotions.

Exercise

Sometimes you just need to move your body. Begin an exercise routine so your body can release your natural endorphins—known as the body’s natural pain killers. If you feel better physically, you will be able to handle stress better when it comes upon you.


Sleep

Many people are sleep deprived. If you find you are irritable, grumpy, foggy, chances are you may be sleep deprived. Going to bed at an earlier time, especially getting those hours before midnight and having a total of 7-8 hours of sleep will impact your overall ability to handle stress.


Take a Stress Detox Course

Immersing yourself in a 2 day Stress Detox will cleanse the stress that has accumulated in your mind, body and brain. This insightful meditation based approach will result in restfulness in the body, spaciousness in your brain promoting creativity, ease-ness in your mind leading you to calm, energy and love. Sign up today and become more equipped to release stress.


These are just a few ways you can begin to release and reduce the accumulation of stress in your life. Try them out, and see if your capacity to handle yourself better begins to grow. If so, you will find you’ll be more likely to relate in healthier ways and be more present for the people you love and those who love you.

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Who Taught You to Be Angry?

By Kathleen Maiman • August 24, 2026
Anger rarely begins where we think it does. We may notice the sharp tone, the clenched jaw, the criticism, the silent treatment, or the sudden need to prove that we are right. But beneath the visible anger is often a deeper question: Who taught you that anger was the safest way to protect yourself?
Man carrying a smiling child on his shoulders while a woman hugs them from behind outdoors

Are You Staying Together for the Kids?

By Kathleen Maiman • August 21, 2026
Weighing whether to stay together for the kids? Explore what a Relational Life Therapy approach reveals about love, conflict, and your children's wellbeing.
Woman sits on sofa with head in hands while man stands in the background near a window.

When Confidence Becomes Control: Understanding Grandiose Men Through an RLT Lens

By Kathleen Maiman • August 14, 2026
Some men enter relationships with confidence, charm, ambition, and an impressive ability to take up space. They may be charismatic, persuasive, successful, or deeply certain that their way of seeing things is the right way. At first, this confidence can feel attractive. A partner may experience him as decisive, protective, passionate, and exciting. But over time, what initially looked like confidence can begin to feel like entitlement. Conversations become competitions. Feedback feels like an attack. His needs dominate the relationship, while his partner’s experience is minimized, corrected, or ignored.
Woman dancing in a bright kitchen while another person sits at a table with breakfast.

Relational Mindfulness: The Missing Link Between Insight and Change

By Kathleen Maiman • July 28, 2026
Relational Life Therapy (RLT) is known for its directness, its focus on accountability, and its commitment to helping couples move out of stalemate and into real change. But one of the most overlooked skills that makes all of that possible is something quieter, subtler, and profoundly powerful: relational mindfulness. Relational mindfulness is not just about being calm or present. It is the capacity to stay aware of yourself, your partner, and the dynamic between you in real time, especially when things get hard. This is where the transformation lives.
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Love Demands Truth

By Kathleen Maiman • June 9, 2026
Is your relationship feeling distant or polite? Discover how Relational Life Therapy brings truth and healing. Explore couples therapy in Calgary today.
Two people embracing in a sunlit park, smiling as one points into the distance.

Do You Have a Relationship Vision?

By Kathleen Maiman • May 28, 2026
A healthy relationship is not built by accident. It develops through repeated patterns of connection, repair, and mutual care. One of the most useful questions a couple can ask is not only, “How are we doing?” but also, “What kind of relationship are we trying to create together?”
Two people talking in a living room, one holding a tablet, with a plant in the background.

Why Talking Won't Fix Your Relationship (And What Will)

By Kathleen Maiman • May 19, 2026
Here is the hard truth: talking about the problem is not the same as changing the pattern. In Relational Life Therapy (RLT), we recognize that insight is cheap; change is what matters.

Growth in Relationships Has No Arrival: An RLT perspective for couples

By Kathleen Maiman • April 17, 2026
In Relational Life Therapy , growth is not treated as a finish line. Relationships are living systems, which means they are always changing, always asking for attention, and always inviting us to learn something new about ourselves and each other. The idea that a couple can “arrive” at a permanently easy, conflict-free place is one of the most common myths about love. In reality, healthy relationships are not built on perfection; they are built on ongoing awareness, accountability, and repair. RLT emphasizes directness, personal responsibility, and lasting change rather than the fantasy of getting everything right once and for all. A relationship is not a problem to solve and then file away. It is a practice, and like any meaningful practice, it deepens over time. Partners will keep meeting new versions of each other as life changes, stress rises and falls, and old patterns get triggered in fresh ways. That is why RLT focuses on identifying repeating “dances” between partners, such as pursuing and distancing, criticizing and defending, or over-functioning and under-functioning. These patterns do not disappear because a couple has been together for a long time; they simply become more visible when life places pressure on the bond.
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Rules of Engagement: How Communication in Relationships Is Like Driving a Car

By Kathleen Maiman • March 16, 2026
Healthy communication is the foundation of every lasting relationship. Yet many couples find themselves feeling misunderstood or stuck in recurring arguments, not because they lack love, but because they haven’t learned the “rules of engagement” that make conversations effective. At my couples therapy practice in Calgary, I often describe communication as a shared journey: much like driving a car together. When both partners understand the “rules of the road,” they navigate challenges with greater ease, awareness, and respect.
Ice Skating Reflects the Dance of Lov

The Art of the Pair: How Going for Olympic Gold in Ice Skating Reflects the Dance of Love

By Kathleen Maiman • February 18, 2026
There are many highlights with the 2026 Olympics in Milan this winter. One of my favourites is the Ice Dancing Pairs. Watching them pursue the Olympic gold as a couple is breathtaking to watch. They are two people gliding across the ice as if they share one heartbeat. Every lift, every turn, every daring leap relies on