Love Under Lockdown: How to Manage Relationship Strains During a Pandemic
Kathleen Maiman • April 23, 2020
You’ve probably heard the old saying that “absence makes the heart grow fonder.” But what happens to the heart in the opposite circumstances? The outbreak and spread of the current COVID-19 pandemic have transformed all of our lives in a myriad of ways.
Large parts of North America are now under strict lockdown measures, confined to the house for all but essential travel and outings. We suddenly find ourselves working from home, homeschooling our children, and spending all of our time with our family.
If you’re feeling the strain of being so close to your partner, you aren’t alone. It’s natural that your relationship will be affected by the new living conditions caused by the crisis. This article will help you understand why lockdown conditions can place unexpected strains on a relationship, before offering a few tips on how to both acknowledge and manage life under lockdown as a couple.
Why Are You Feeling the Pressure?
Let’s take a look at a few of the reasons why the current strict lockdown is proving to be so challenging. You may be struggling with a:
- Lack of boundaries and personal space
- Heightened awareness of your partner’s habits and ticks
- Inconvenient set-up when working from home
- Lack of routine with your household chores
- Build-up of tension after fights and arguments due to close proximity
- Sudden increase in responsibility as you teach your kids, manage your household, and look for “me time”
Tips to Improve Your Relationship During a Pandemic
So, what can you do to strengthen your relationship during a pandemic? You will no doubt find it difficult to be respectful and cheery at all times—and this is perfectly acceptable. After all, we are only human.
But here are a few strategies you can use to make—rather than break your relationship during the COVID-19 lockdown.
Communicate Openly
Many relationship issues stem from a lack of active communication. During the lockdown, try to be honest about how you are feeling. This honesty can go a long way to identifying a potential problem before it escalates.
Explain why you find your current relationship situation difficult to manage. Have a calm discussion about the various ways you might resolve any tension between you. Admit your faults and explain what you find difficult about your partner’s behaviour.
Leave Room for Alone Time
Spending time alone will give you the space you need to gather your thoughts and check-in with yourself. If you’ve found that you are arguing more than usual, alone time will give you time to calm down after a fight.
Try practicing yoga, meditation, or go for a run or for a walk by yourself. You may even find peace and quiet through video games.
If you’re working from home, do your best to keep your workspaces as separate as you possibly can. It’s important to create a distinction between your work and relaxation spaces.
Plan for Date Nights
Avoid spending “poor quality” time together. Remember, it is possible to spend hours and hours in each other’s company without ever having a meaningful, engaged conversation. Date nights are important for all long term couples as they can help you to see your partner through new, more appreciative eyes.
Now, date nights are more important than ever. Without them, you’ll end up getting bored and annoyed by your couple’s routine of sitting silently watching TV every day. Be creative about how you can plan romantic at-home dates—get dressed up, put away your phones, and enjoy each other’s company.
Socialise Virtually Without Your Partner
The lockdown can make it possible for you to go days or weeks on end without speaking to any adults other than your partner. Balance and mental stability will come from seeking out friends and family members to speak with by yourself.
A video chat with a friend will help you to appreciate the time you do spend with your partner.
Video Counselling Sessions Available With The Love of Attraction
Kathleen Maiman is a registered psychotherapist and certified Imago relationship therapist that offers couples counseling and other services.
Are you finding it difficult to manage your relationship during this pandemic? I am now open for video couples counselling, making it easy for you and your partner to work through this difficult time together.
My sessions are designed to help you reflect and come up with effective tools that will allow you and your partner to develop a strong bond and manage your relationship during this difficult time.
Even though the immense pressures of the coronavirus pandemic may feel overwhelming, it’s vital that you give your relationship the attention and care it deserves. Find out more
about the Love of Attraction telehealth services, or feel free to contact me directly
to get your relationship under lockdown back on track.
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