3 Tips for Overcoming Insecurities in a Relationship

We all feel insecure from time to time. Chronic insecurity, however, can stifle a relationship, robbing you of peace and preventing you from engaging with your partner as your true, authentic self. 

Don’t let insecurities affect your relationship. Understanding how to manage strong yet misleading emotions can significantly impact the way you interact with your partner.

Here are a few things you should be aware of when it comes to insecurity and your relationship. 

What Does Insecurity in a Relationship Feel Like?

Insecurities usually stem from a deep sense of inadequacy. We may believe that we are flawed, unattractive, or undeserving of love. Many of us experience a harsh inner critic, a form of negative self-talk that fills our minds with critical or suspicious chatter. 

Insecurity in an intimate relationship can take on many forms. Ask yourself the following questions:

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  Do you feel that you don’t have enough to offer in the relationship? 
• Are you constantly worried that your partner will leave you? 
• Do you find yourself seeking reassurance, only it’s never enough?
• Do you cycle between feelings of doubt, anxiety, and anger? 
• Do you suffer from jealous feelings that lead to obsessive thoughts and actions, such as questioning your partner’s whereabouts or invading their privacy? 

Insecure feelings tend to intensify when we’re in a relationship with someone we can’t stand to lose. These unrelenting anxieties can trigger uncomfortable and even painful feelings that, if left unchecked, can warp the way we feel about ourselves, our partner, and the world around us. 

How Do I Stop Being So Insecure?

1. Create a List of Your Strengths 

Research tells us that individuals with relationship insecurities are more likely to have lower self-esteem. Take the time to remind yourself of what you bring to the table in your relationship by creating a list of your greatest strengths, whether you’re an excellent cook or a thoughtful, supportive partner. 

2. Focus on Yourself 

A healthy relationship requires balance. Nurture your sense of independence and self-identity by reconnecting with your sense of self outside of your relationship. Make time for your own interests, hobbies, and self-improvement goals. Feeling secure in yourself is better for you and your relationship. 

3. Communicate Openly and Honestly 

Open and honest communication lays the foundation for any healthy relationship. Trusting your partner, and earning their trust, means listening without springing to your own defense or rushing to judgement. 

Make sure to keep in mind that an open line of communication doesn’t mean unleashing your insecurities onto your partner. Stay compassionate for one another and respect each other’s boundaries. 

Stop Insecurities From Damaging Your Relationship 

Are you struggling with feelings of low self-worth that are affecting your relationship? Learn how to disconnect from unhealthy, intrusive thoughts with The Love of Attraction couple's counselling sessions. 

Work alongside registered psychotherapist Kathleen Maiman toward a healthy relationship where you and your partner can feel secure and loved. 

Find out more about the couples therapy and counselling services offered by clicking here. Feel free to contact me directly if you have any questions.